I was recently reading an interesting blog post by Michelle over at "Emerald Cove," all about new beginnings and dealing with internal struggles, trusting yourself and finding your path. It was interesting to me because she said out loud so many of the things that I think and feel about myself.
Then I was over at "Be Yourself.... everyone else is taken" and Beth did a post on finding your New Years word. I have to admit that I've never heard of finding a word for the New Year. Apparently this word thing has been around for awhile and I must live in a cave since I've never heard of it. In fact, after I mentioned that to her, Beth sent me a little note and told me my new name is "cave woman." That cracked me up! But go ahead, Google "Pick a word 2012" to read more about it. Kinda cool concept.
Ever since I was in high school I have been saying "What do I want to do with my life?" And here I am 30 something years later and I still don't know. I always feel like what I'm meant to be doing is just beyond my grasp.... and my sight. I'm not artistic enough to paint or make jewelry or do crafts. I despise math. I hate to sit at a desk. Unfortunately, I can't spend my entire day geocaching or sitting on a beach and playing with shells. Even tho I give it a good try.......
And so I feel like I'm in constant motion, looking around the bend for just the right thing to hold my interest, light my fire, maybe earn me some extra money. Something inspiring. I never feel good enough, or smart enough or creative enough. Everything is always such a struggle. Someone else always gets the breaks, or has the luck, or comes out on top.
But then I stop to think and I hold fast to the thought that "Life is all about the journey and not the destination." And I remember that I have what God wants me to have, I am exactly where He wants me to be and I am exactly who I am supposed to be. Maybe part of my problem is that I'm not realizing that I already do the most important things I can be doing - Have faith in God and raise good kids. We are blessed - My husband and I run a business, I married the love of my life and I have a great family. We are all healthy. Why am I always looking for more?
There's nothing wrong with wanting more. Or better. Or even different. There's nothing wrong with trying to tweak things a bit. But for 2012 I'm going to spend more time looking inward at what I already have, instead of outward at what I haven't got. My word for 2012 is going to be listen.
The New Year always brings with it an element of hope and the promise of a new beginning. Wishing all of you a Happy New Year. What do you really want for the New Year?
So from my family to you and yours - Happy New Year!