Monday, May 7, 2012

Sometimes Being at the Lake Sucks!

Yes, you read that correctly - sometimes being at the lake does suck - like when we're here and the kids aren't.   I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself "what is she, crazy?"  A week with no kids.  Nobody to worry about but herself.  No one to cook for but her husband.  No beach towels dripping on the deck, no water bottles scattered across the table, no dirty dishes piled up in the sink......

For the past 20 something years, our kids have gone with us on every trip out of town.  Every single one.  Since they were old enough to splash the minnows in the bucket, they were on the boat with us while we fished.  They sat in deer stands at dawn and dusk.  They rode in canoes in the moonlight.  We saddled them up on horses and took them riding in the woods.  They sat next to us in golf carts and helped steer around the block.  I don't care what we did, we just packed them up and swept them along on this crazy ride we call our lives.

Until now...

Now they are all grown up and they don't need to be tucked into the back seat of the car anymore, with favored stuffed animals in their laps and a TV and VCR strapped precariously to the center console.  I don't have little hands to hold while standing under the starry sky and watching a full moon rise.  No tiny ears to whisper ghost stories to while the thunder booms outside our camper.  No more naked toddlers dashing up the beach.  No more little voices begging to go for a swim, go for a hike, go fishing, roast marshmallows, play flashlight tag or fly a kite.  "Mom, look at me.... Mom, mom, mom......."

Louie and I are at the lake and the kids are not.  They're at home,  finishing up their last week of school.  Yesterday was a picture perfect day.  It was hot and sunny, with huge billowing white clouds floating across the sky and a gentle breeze rippling the water.  I paddled out to the mouth of our bay and sat in the sun, while tears leaked out of my eyes.   No Chablis paddling next to me in her pink kayak, moaning because I'm getting tanner faster than she is.  Tony's computer stuff isn't strewn all over the cocktail table in the front room.  Televisions weren't blasting from 2 different rooms.  I gathered up some firewood, but somehow it's not the same.  Usually Chablis is tagging along next to me, and I'm stacking logs in her arms.  Tony is always trailing us in the gator so we can toss the wood into the back of it.  Later tonight I'll be forced to start the fire by myself.  That's usually Tony's favorite job when we're at the lake.  Making s'mores tonight just won't be as much fun.



A new chapter is starting in my life.  Chablis graduates from college at the end of the month.  Tony just finished his first year of college.  I've spent 22 years raising 2 great kids.  I tried really hard to teach them right from wrong, to trust and believe in God, to fend for themselves.  It's been 22 years of being a mom and training them for the point in their lives where they will leave us, spread their wings, make their own way.  I think we did a good job.  I know I have to let them fly.

But that doesn't mean I have to like it.


I know they have to grow up and do their own thing.  Please don't tell me it's part of life, or that new things are waiting for me around the corner.  I know I'll soon have the freedom to do what I want, when I want.  I know they will still come to the lake when they can.  But for today, well, I just want to cry.

18 comments:

  1. Well shoot Kim, now I'm crying!

    I hate to tell you that you do adjust, but you will. It takes time. I'm so lucky that my last 2 still live at home and are in their mid 20's... but I know the day will come when the house is empty, and it's just US.

    Okay now I'm bawling!

    I've had several years to adjust to going to the beach without the kids. It was very hard at first though.
    XO

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    1. It's especially hard when I'm on the beach too.

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  2. It definitely sucks. Mine have been out of the house for many years, and I still hate it. Hopefully you will have grandchildren in the future, the best consolation prize of all.

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    1. Grandchildren will be nice! It certainly gives me something to look forward to.

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  3. With a post title like that how could I not read it?! LOL Kim, it's 7:30 in the morning and you've made me smile, laugh, cry. .... and bawl, too (Della!) Both my babies are grown up and out on their own. They're happy so I'm happy. That's all I can do is be content that they are happy. I miss them like crazy, too, but you know what, Kim? When they come back here or to the lake it's bliss. It means sooo much more. And although Dan is almost 28 and Sarah's almost 24, I get to kiss them goodnight, hold their hands and be a mommy again even if it's only for a night or a weekend. So. Welcome to our club. We're happy you are here and we will listen whenever you need to blubber. We do it, too. Thanks for a great post, Kim!!

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    1. That's what I like so much about my blogger friends - everyone is so supportive! Thanks Karen.

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  4. The first one is always the hardest. The quiet is deafening. But they do eventually return & usually with little ones in tow. I have been baby-sitting for the world's sweetest grand-nephew the last 3 weeks. One of your best posts ever Kim. Right from your heart my friend. xo

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  5. I'm feeling ya! We just went to our daughter's college graduation last weekend. Really? Where did those 4 years go? Wahhhh. I am proud of her though as she already has a really good job in her field...but its 12 hours away. Wahhhh

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    1. 12 hours is just long enough for a little road trip and a long weekend visit!

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  6. I feel you! I know my parents still feel that way... and my youngest sister is 8 years older than Chablis! And I don't know if the fact that the three of us have been out of home and then back and then gone again and so on for the past decades helps, or not! In a way this past decade has seemed like my sisters and I were taking turns staying with the parents, keeping them company. The youngest was still here when the Gabs and I were in Belgium and Wales. Then Gabs went home for a year and Kat went to England. Then Gabs left for New Zealand and Kat came home 4 months later... then I came home and Kat left again... but now I think if I leave Alicante again they'll definitely be on their own again. Kat doesn't want to work in Spain, Gabs can't find work here (and anyhow is enjoying life with her boyfriend in New Zealand). I worry about my parents! Makes me not want to look for jobs outside of a commuting distance... :s

    Keep missing them, but keep their rooms ready for when they decided they feel the need to "come home" for a bit! ;o)

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    1. If it was up to Louie, they would absolutely never get to leave. LOL.

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  7. What, you're not running around the house naked and playing beer pong with Louie? I think your looking at this all wrong. This is the opportunity for you and Louie to bond and rekindle some of that fire that the kids somehow have a way of keeping it at embers. Stay busy, if you know what I mean;) Have a romantic picnic, an afternoon move and lunch or just stay in bed all day and eat chocolate! Life only gives you so many chances, seize the day!
    Before long, the kids will be back and everything will return to normal. You guys are all too close to drift too far apart.
    HAVE FUN! LIVE IT UP!

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  8. Yep, mine are both off at college, and although I enjoy the peace and quiet, I miss them terribly. We especially miss them when we go camping. It's just not the same without the kids. Hang in there!

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  9. I have 4 grown sons....2 with birthdays this month and I won't be able to be with them. Believe me...you will always miss them but you'll figure it out. I have a wonderful life...filled with lots of interesting things to do but I still get melancholy and miss my boys. I never would have imagined that I would have to go so long without seeing them...we were such a close family when they were growing up. Well....now I'm crying with you! We're good moms and sensitive souls...what can I say? Sweet hugs, Diane

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  10. Since I don't have kids myself, I can't relate to what you're going thru. I feel for you but I don't know what it really feels like. However, it gives me a better perspective of how Mom & Dad may have felt when we all moved out of the house. I never considered that it may have been hard on them. I just felt like that's how it was supposed to happen, they did their job and sent us on our way and I just assumed they were happy to have the house to themselves. Now I'm thinking maybe that wasn't so much the case and you've brought a tear to my eyes as well. Thanks for sharing. Love you.

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  11. I know how you feel!! My baby girl will be 26 in June and will be married 4 years in July....and lives 4 hours away!! It is so tuff to deal with!! You try to teach them to be independent, make good solid decisions, trust God. And when they do all of that suddenly they are gone!! They did exactly what we taught them!! I feel for you, I know it doesnt really help, but it means you did a good job!! .....and from what I have seen, Kim you have done a GREAT job!! It's okay to cry...I do it nearly every time they leave, or we do something without them!! Have a good cry for me too!! <3

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