Friday, November 22, 2013

Does Your Vacuum Suck?

Does your vacuum suck?  Yes, I mean that in more ways than one.  Ok, I am having a vacuum cleaner melt down.  Right now I am sort of super pissed off, so I will probably come off sounding like a crazed, vacuum cleaner hating lunatic.  Which I kinda am.

I don't know, is it just me?  Am I the only person in the United States who cannot find a stupid vacuum cleaner that I like and that works the way I want it to work?  Here are my issues....

I was vacuuming at the lake house the last time we were there and the upright vacuum cleaner that we had, note that I used the word had, kept shutting off while I was using it.  For no good reason.  I'd vacuum a few feet and it would shut off.  I'd jiggle it and bang it, and it would start up again, I'd vacuum a few feet again and the damn thing would shut off again.  Did I mention that this thing was only about 2 years old and it really doesn't get a lot of use at the lake house?  It's not like I'm on a vacuum cleaning mission, I just want to pick up the dog hair, dust bunnies and random dried leaves.  Grrrr....... I couldn't get the damn thing to work right.  I have a bad temper and I opened the door to the back deck and threw the vacuum cleaner out the door where it banged down the stairs and then sat in the rain for a few hours.  I guess I showed it who the boss was.

The next morning I went out, brought it back inside and it started right up.  What the heck??  I smugly started vacuuming again and the fricking thing shut off again.  I checked the bottom by the rollers to be sure nothing was jammed.  I checked the filters - they were clean.  Ok, that was it- I hauled it back outside, threw it in the back of our gator and personally dragged it down to the dump.  I gave it the middle finger salute as I pulled away and never looked back.  Good riddance you piece.... of .....crap!

Louie came back from hunting and when I told him what happened, he went out to the garage and brought in an older vacuum cleaner that he used outside for his boat.  This one was an upright unit like the last one was.  I wasn't having a good feeling....

Honestly, I don't like upright units.  Strike one....  I'm 5'2" and I weight 106 lbs.  The damn uprights weigh practically more than I do and my right bicep is noticeably larger than my left from flinging it around and I practically throw out my back every time I use it.

Strike 2.....  Both uprights were bag less units.  Do you like using a bag less machine?  I must be getting old because I'm old fashioned and I like a dirt bag - I despise a bag less vacuum.  Here's why - when you remove the dump bucket to empty it, all the dust and dirt that you just vacuumed up flies through the air, all over everything you just cleaned.  I personally like it, not, when you remove the dump bucket and a big clump of something falls all over the carpet.  Yech.

At home I have a pull behind, canister unit.  It has a bag, which I like, so that is a plus...

But this leads me to Strike 3, and this applies to both types of vacuum cleaners - their suction, well, sucks.  Or rather, there is a definite lack thereof...   I can pull coke through a straw with more suction than either of these vacuum cleaners can supply. 

So anyway, that leads me to what pissed me off today.  I was vacuuming, again with the upright at the lake, and the aforementioned suction problem was becoming an issue.  Do you ever see something on the floor and roll the vacuum cleaner over it like 18 times and it's still sitting there like it's laughing at you?  So then you have to bend over and manually pick up that crappy little piece of lint?  Why don't vacuum cleaners like me??

The last vacuum cleaner I bought, the one that sailed down the deck stairs, cost me just over
 $ 300.00 brand new.  I thought that was a pretty good chunk of change.  I seriously cannot afford to spend more than that - again!  So here is what I want....

  1. a pull behind canister style vacuum that glides easily and doesn't weigh a ton.  I do not want to look like I'm dragging a sack of rocks or a dead body around the house behind me.
  2. it has to use a bag.  Co-incidentally, I just bought some bags that had the Febreze air scent attached and I love them.  Nice free plug for Febreze.  Note to Febreze - Please contact me if you'd like to supply me with more of those.  They are fab!
  3. it's got to suck dirt like a demon and I mean, like sucking golf balls through a straw.
  4. it can't cost me an arm and a leg.
Any suggestions??   What type of vacuum cleaner do you have and what do you like about it?


  1. Awww I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time Kim!! I really can't be of any help because I switched to an upright a few years ago! We 'stumbled' upon our Bissell from Walmart a few years ago when Jess was in undergrad and the vacuum we sent with her died. We went to Walmart and got their upright for a little over $40 bucks and love it!! It works beautifully, has attachments onboard...and has a bag!! You could try it!! (They also have the bagless one that we just bought for our place in Ft. Myers) I am very pleased with them and it's cheap (inexpensive)!! I also have their carpet shampooer which is awesome!

    1. That sounds like a possibility - is it lightweight?

  2. Oh my gosh!!! I was laughing out loud, Kim!!! I'm sorry..I feel your pain, but you just made me laugh about heaving the sweeper out the door, then flipping it off!!!
    hahahaha!!! Oh,,,too funny.
    I can't recommend one for you. I bought a cheapo without a bag, and I hate it. It's dirty, and nasty when I empty it. I have to constantly clean the filters, and I hate the thoughts of what I am brushing out of there!!! barf.
    I hope you can find something better than what you had. If not, write another review for

    1. LOL - I'm glad you enjoyed the post Deb. I was so angry when I wrote it. Maybe I wouldn't hate vacuuming so much if I had a machine that was easier to use? I doubt it tho. xo

  3. I've always used a pull-behind bagged vaccum cleaner up until about two years ago, when our faithful old Sears vacuum died. We ended up buying a Eureka Pet vacuum, upright and bagless. It was quite a transition for me! Although I like this vacuum (it picks up dog hair like no one's business!) I'm not fond of having to empty a dusty canister or lug around a heavy upright. I've heard Dyson makes great vacuums, but they are expensive. Good luck!

    1. Thanks Linda. Today I kicked around our wet/dry shop vac. Great suction on that but its so big to haul around. Totally a last resort type of thing.

  4. I probably would have thrown it out the door too! They just don't make anything very well today. In 50 years of having a house, my dad has owned two. In 21 years of having my house, I think I am on number 4. I like the canister type better too until it gets caught on the lip of a rug. Guess nothing is perfect. Good luck. Maybe we should go back to old-fashioned, powerless carpet sweepers! Ha, ha...

    1. OMG - I remember those carpet sweepers - they actually worked pretty good. My mom and dad also had an Electrolux vacuum cleaner in the 60's that I think they may still have and my dad uses in his work shop. They don't make them like that anymore.

  5. It really is so frustrating! I I hope you find something you like. I can't help....I have 2 different cleaners and they don't match what you want. Have you looked at reviews online? That's always interesting! lol Sending you some MORE've had a tough few days! Your buddy, Diane

  6. I sympathize- recently tried to clean up a bit for my brother's visit. Vacuum wouldn't suck- this one supposed to be good for dog hair- tried to unclog and ended up with the brush not working either. got out an old canister but the new carpet is wrong for it and it just won't glide. I just put them both away and live with the dog hair.

  7. OMG, Kim...just read this and I'm sorry, but I had to laugh, especially at the part about you giving it the "salute" as you disposed of if, lol. I feel for you, though...having experienced years of dissatisfaction with vacuums, also. However, I've never been a fan of the canisters, although that's what we had when I was a kid. Several years ago we bought a cheap Bissell, about $40 from Walmart...I wonder if it might not be the same one Shelllady got? It's still running strong and we have used and abused it, in fact I just handed it down to my son for his karate studio because I'd been wanting a new one. I've never been overly impressed with it's "suckability" though, hence my desire to replace it. So, a couple of months ago I got a new vac from's an upright and bagless, I know you don't want those...however, it sucks fabulously, so I have to mention it anyway. It's a Bissell Total Floors Multi Surface Multi Cyclonic Pet with Febreze was about $120, Bissell Model #61C5-W. It's the first vacuum I've ever had that I's a pure sucking dream, honest! I couldn't believe what came out of the carpet when we used it. It's not too heavy, 15yo daughter does most of the vacuuming and she's very petite....and it has a 35 foot cord, which is awesome and a pet hair tool. I highly recommend it if you can overlook the fact that it's upright and bagless...we've also not experienced problems with dirt going all over when we empty the cup, if that helps! Good luck with finding the perfect new vacuum for you!

  8. I use to hate my vacuum cleaner. Then I bought a Dyson but I don't think it would meet your criteria. No bag and it costs an arm and a leg. But, boy does it suck! Every time I vacuum, I could make another cat with the hair it picks up. J


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